Monday, August 24, 2015

A Concatenation of Ephemeralities and Eons…

I don’t think anyone would argue with me when I say that life can be bittersweet.  This past weekend brought it home to me in a very personal way.

On Saturday, Greg, Carrie and I attended the wedding of Greg’s cousin Anne.  Although I am not linked to her by blood, I am very happy that she is also my cousin, even if only by marriage.  She is a unique and wonderful human.  It was an honor to get to spend this special day with her and her new husband, Peter.   The service was lovely, the bride was beautiful and the reception was a truly excellent way to spend a summer afternoon in delightful surroundings with very congenial, laughing people gathered to celebrate this happy new phase of Anne and Peter’s life together.

We committed to this event a while back and before I knew that a room would become available at an assisted living facility for my 87 year old mother.

  The last time I saw my mother, it seemed clear to me that it was time for her to be cared for in a way that was not possible for me or any of my six siblings on our own and my understanding is that things have gotten progressively worse for her since I was there.

  But dealing with the logistics of the whole affair was left to my siblings who live near my mother in Ohio.  We live almost 800 miles away in Massachusetts, so I am not always up on what is happening on a day to day basis or able to contribute in a concrete, everyday way.

Yesterday, my wonderful siblings did what was best for my mother who was not happy or cooperative about her situation and I have an untold amount of gratefulness for them in my heart.  They are the best!

Life is often bittersweet and the moments, both the good ones and the bad ones, are fleeting.  Although when we are experiencing the bad moments often those moments don’t seem to be so short-lived.

Alfred E. Kahn said, “Life is a concatenation of ephemeralities” – happenings linked together that last a very short time.   To me, that seems right most of the time.  Time does fly.

Last weekend in Maine was certainly over too soon for Greg, Carrie and me.  Still, while this past weekend was technically the same number of hours both in Ohio and Maine, I’m sure the weekend must have lasted a very, very long time for my sibs.


10 comments:

Sandra said...

I have never heard “Life is a concatenation of ephemeralities” but I do like it and it is so true. you did have the happy with the sad and made it through.. placing a parent in a facility is awful. i had to in 2005 with my dad who had Parkinson's and dementia. when we walked him in the door he put his hands on each door frame and screammed Help Help, call the sheriff, call the sherriff... but after he was there for a couple of weeks it went smoothly. the blessing was he only suffered for 7 mnths and went home to the Lord

Kerri Farley said...

A beautiful image!

It is very hard to watch our parents grow old.
Sending positive vibes to your Mom for her adjustment to her new surroundings!

Rose said...

Life is full of the good and the bad...into each life some rain must fall. That is from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in case you don't know.

Rose said...

Someone came in and just clicked to post...meant to say this is a beautiful blue flower.

Gail Dixon said...

You are blessed to have your siblings. As an only child I had to make tough choices for my mother all alone. I hope all works out for the best for your family.

Nicki said...

Lovely image and great perspective in view of your post. It is so hard when the tables turn and you find yourself having to make the choices for your parent. I had the good fortune to care and tend to my mother (and to a fair degree my father) during their final years. My siblings (both near and far were not in the same position). I never resented the circumstances and would not have changed it for a second. That said, I am sure that your siblings are grateful for your acknowledgement.

Debbie said...

the hardest choices in life, we are approaching that as well and my mom who will be less than cooperative. i wish we could all go to sleep one night, when the time is right, and just not wake the next morning.

a beautiful image, and i LOVE the color!!!

Ida said...

I agree with what Debbie said. My family has left the care of our mom up to me and sometimes it's really hard to deal with.

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

I can understand your situation as my only sibling, my brother, was the one who living in the same state as our mom was there to deal with assorted medical emergencies. My mother refused to live anyplace other than her own home. She did have a daytime companion who helped with daily routines and meals. My mom's passing last Dec while sad was in her own home as she wanted. In fact, she had just been released from the hospital insisting she wanted to go home. My brother picked her up and brought her there where she collapsed. There are few words of comfort to offer that makes these situations easier for so many.

Pamela Gordon said...

Barb, I know how difficult your recent situation with your mother must be but I'm happy for you that she went willingly and that it was all taken care of by your siblings. I'm glad you had a wonderful trip to Bangor for a wedding. I enjoyed your posts after this one as well. I've never seen the water tower there before. Interesting. We go to Bangor maybe once every year or so but the Canadian dollar is so low that it's not on the agenda this year.