What happens next?

I’m waiting for the dust to settle and for my life to return to “normal” although I’m not sure that will ever really happen.

More than a month ago, my husband Greg had a stroke that caused a fall down a flight of stairs and a subsequent ambulance ride to the hospital where he remained for almost four weeks.  His condition was very complicated and while the stroke was the immediate problem, there were other health issues that made his treatment exceptionally difficult and, well, complicated.  While it was a truly awful time for Greg, it was also a harrowing time for me, our kids and our family and friends.  When he was finally moved to a rehab hospital, we thought that he was beginning to heal, but on November 1, he succumbed to another stroke and passed away.

We scheduled our memorials for this past weekend with calling hours on Saturday and a memorial service at our church on Sunday afternoon.  I was astounded by the number of people who came to offer their condolences and to share their memories of Greg.  People came from all areas of his life, including family from near and far, high school friends, his friends and fellow workers from New England Electric Service and National Grid, our steadfast church friends, our Walker Pond neighbors and other local friends, his much loved biker pals, and even a server at an area restaurant who saw the obituary in the newspaper and wanted to let us know that she remembered that Greg had always greeted her by name and made her feel like a friend.

But that’s just the way he was.  He was not a perfect man by any means and there were times over our 35 plus years together when he drove me absolutely nuts.  But, in many ways, he was larger than life.  People mentioned over and over that they will remember how he loved to laugh.  So many mentioned that when they first met him, they felt they were immediately in the company of a friend.  He was always the life of the party, always one of the smartest guys in the room and always careful about caring for his family and friends and was never shy about letting them know how much they meant to him.  He was a hugger.  And he loved to sing, serving as primary tenor in the Brookfield Unitarian Universalist Church choir for more than twenty years.  He will be hugely missed by so many, not just me, Carrie, Evan and Olive, the pug.

In personality, Greg was the opposite of me as I tend to be socially awkward,  introverted and shy.  Maybe that’s why we got along so well all these years.  We did complement each other in many ways.  But right now, I am keenly aware that the support and love I am feeling from friends and family are really a gift from Greg who never hesitated to make a friend or to celebrate with family.

I am going to try to move forward, to start picking up my camera again and to dip my toes back into the blogging world.  Bear with me as I try to find my way.